Let’s face it you are a pervert just for checking out this title. Like us, the idea of a group of cheeky Japs running around in swimming gear fighting off zombie school girls was a plot well sold.
The plot, well… is just that. School nurses decide to experiment on the students and on the teachers turning them all into the living dead; all this just as ‘Aki’ is trying to escape her sordid past as a ‘water assassin sex slave’ and settle in on her first day at the school. For the big twist, the teachers were given a different injection, one which means that chlorine doesn’t cure them, a reason that incidentally made the swim team remain immune to fight; thank the lord for small favours.
Poor Aki, the anguish of moving, the insecurity of making new friends and the self doubt associated from the scars of her past. Luckily for her one lezza shower scene is all that was needed for all the fears of acceptance to be washed away; with each grope of breast she became a valued part of the school, and the movie! Those tits are fucking amazing.
Normally I would start with the gore; but this movie predominantly appeals to the other aspect of my persona. The goods are delivered big and bouncy, and I would estimate around one third of the movie is porn; brilliant, who cares about the survival plight of the school anyhow! Asian S&M stars Sasa Handa and Yuria Hidaka provide the niceties in a variety of lesbian, masturbation, rape, and plain old banging scenes, and my god are they strong; I don’t think I’ve seen scenes this graphic outside of porn. One scene, around 40 minutes, is probably the best as Aki receives her warmest welcome to the school thus far; the girls fondle and play with one another in a scene which prompted Chris to give his critique there and then "this film has it all, 10 out of 10". You don’t see no pussy, but full frontal is pretty much standards as are the fingers in the knickers and the fully naked doggy style scenes. On sex alone I can’t rate it high enough, the girls are gorgeous and the sex is dirty.
Sex aside this movie also has a fair amount of gore. The zombie makeup is hardly award winning but you get the idea, and the gore effects are cheap but effective; the intestines were clearly just stuffed tights though. What I was most impressed with was the blood which looked very realistic; I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actual animal blood. Throughout the movie there are several scenes of bizarre splatter type gore including one where a teacher dismembers a student with a couple of meter rulers whilst banging on about the price of apples and bananas and another where a female teacher cuts deep with a chainsaw whilst reciting English phrases with pretty poor pronunciation.
Overall this movie is really one of two halves, tits and gore; sometimes overlapping, where the tits get covered in gore, but simply put if you are after anything which actually resembles a sensible movie you are likely to be disappointed. If you like what you hear in this review be assured there is no exaggeration. Double value for money, ‘Attack Girls Swim Team vs The Undead’ will provide you with entertainment for not only the 1 hour 30 runtime but probably for quite a few lonely nights following.