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Review: Blood Diner


Blood Diner quickly fits nicely into the ‘how did I not see this before’ category, thankfully Jackie Kong’s gross-out horror comedy is delivered as a new and vibrant course in high definition by Lionsgate as part of their new Vestron Video Collector’s Series.

The plot follows two brothers and their insane uncle as they take it upon themselves to complete a ritual which will resurrect an ancient deity ‘Sheetar’. Their uncle, himself resurrected by the two brothers (with the help of a magical amulet) orchestrates the whole affair existing as a brain and eyeballs in a jar, whilst his nephews fanatically murder and mutilate at his behest. Whilst details are somewhat confusing it appears that the blood obsessed god requires both a body to inhabit and fresh blood to devour. Luckily for Sheetar the two brothers own a vegetarian restaurant that oddly enough has made a name for itself serving up human flesh as a ‘meat substitute’!

Needless to say this plot plays out in as much of as a bizarre manner as it sounds and if you are a fan of straight down the line ‘serious’ horror this will probably not suit your pallet, however, should you be a fan of gory comedic horror then you will voraciously devour this platter of splatter.

The gore is over the top and consistent, the effects look great – helped along of course by the fantastic HD transfer presented by Lionsgate. They don’t look terribly realistic at times, but they are very gruesome with tones of blood; needless to say when you have a scene in the screenplay within which you batter and then deep fat fry some-one’s head only to then have them chaotically run around the room as some sort of woman-donut I don’t think ‘convincing’ was part of the mission statement. The pace varies throughout the movie, the complex and increasingly maddening plot does require the odd bit of exposition here and there to keep people in the loop, but the heinous body count ensures your order of guts and gore is not kept waiting long! Indeed, in the scenes where the limbs of young woman are not coming off, their tops are! Indeed this veritable blood-feast has all the ingredients of an 80s splatter movie in ample quantity.

Overall, this film delivers exactly as ordered! If of course assuming you are in the mood for some outrageous over the top gore and equally out-there plot and acting. As I mentioned in my opener, I cannot believe it has taken until 2017 for me to see this movie; it quickly goes into my collection as a camp-classic.

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