Review: Microwave Massacre


Often cited, even by the films own original promotion, as a the worst film ever made, 80s schlock ‘Microwave Massacre’ is amongst the recent cadavers resurrected by Arrow Films this September.

Whilst being far from the worst movie ever, what ‘The Microwave Massacre’ serves up is plenty of camp, a little bit of gore, atrocious (and equally humorous) gore effects and some commentary regarding consumerism akin to that of ‘The Stuff’ or ‘Street Trash’. With this remaster, and whilst admittedly it never quite reaches the high standards set be both the aforementioned film, we do get a little gem released in high definition which far exceeds anything even conceived by the original production team.

The plot, sees one fairly browbeaten constructionmic worker, and a microwave. Whilst his wife isn’t abusive or anything more sordid, indeed she simply smothers him with kindness, and with it, she is pissing him off big time. Whilst he craves nothing more than convenience foods and slobbing around, his wife insists on trying to live the high life. One day she goes to far and serves him up the most pretentious dinner possible – and he kills her for it. Post murder he is then informed by a documentary that if the body is dismembered and the parts never found a murder trial is quite impossible. Cue the most dated (not to mention industrial sized) microwave I have ever seen, and a high protein ‘white’ meat diet and its problem solved.

You only have to read the synopsis and tagline to know that this movie has its tongue firmly planted in its cheek, and if that, and the artwork doesn’t put you off then I guarantee you will have a blast with this movie. It is so hammy, although not significantly more that most of the ‘below the radar’ 80s fodder, and naturally pretty sleazy too. Not for the politically correct I can say. Indeed, despite our leading man’s elderly and fairly rotund demeanour the woman, young and beautiful cannot keep their hands off him. Lucky for him he puts this to his advantage and satisfy both his appetites! Indeed, no how bad he treats them, they can’t get enough!

In terms of gore and effect, well that’s where the movie perhaps suffers. I likened the concept to ‘Street Trash’ and ‘The Stuff’ in my opener and whilst there is no indication that the producers/director were aiming for a similar style of film, ‘The Microwave Massacre’ is missing a signature gore or special effects element. I was kinda hoping to see some gooey microwave deaths, but sadly aside from some healthy spatterings of blood, the gore is kinda tame. Shame really, as everything else needed to make this a true 80s Z-graded class is there!

Overall, this movie is fun, and for fans of schlock movies I suspect that Arrow’s remaster is going to be a difficult one to resist. It’s a solid 3.5 stars, and fun with it.

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