Review: Robo-Geisha


Robo-geisha continues the recent obsession for augmenting regular members of society into mechanised super-hero’s, producing another 90 odd minutes of bizarre imagery and crazy body part weapons. Sadly though, and I’m not sure whether the formula for these movies is becoming tiresome or simply ‘Robo-geisha’ just isn’t that good, but this movie pails in comparison to classics like ‘Tokyo gore police’ and ‘Machine Girl’.

The plot and pace of such movies is beginning to pigeon hole a reputation for itself, with the sequenced scenes of talk, fight, talk, fight, talk, big boss fight, becoming some what an obvious formula for all recent movies in the genre. ‘Robo-geisha’ is no exception, except this time the fight : talk ratio seemed far from favourable. The story begins as a geisha and her sister are recruited by a steel company to join their geisha assassin squad. Fighting to become leaders in the group each sister volunteers themselves for experimental robotic enhancements. Right and wrong soon become messed up and one finds herself in a blackmail situation which she must fight her way out. Naturally and linearly this story eventually reaches a climax in which the main bad guy of the movie must answer for what he has done, and is justly punished by his own creation.

A constant theme running through this review is that this plot is exactly the same as any of the other movies within this recent niche genre, so much so that for the most part, the story of ‘Robo-geisha’ feels completely redundant, resulting in large periods of this movie where you loose interest completely.

With attention waiving at around the 40 minute mark, the only aspect of the movie which I thought would make up for the dribble story telling would be the customary big boss battle, which normally contains huge amounts of OTT gore and imaginative bio-robotic mutations.

Sadly, Robo-geisha drops the ball completely on this note, favouring the worst CGI I have seen for years, over the cool prosthetics ala Tokyo Gore Police et al. Shit is not the word. Going beyond dodgy enough to get a laugh, there are some moments in this movie which makes you think that on some level the creators of it were literally taking the piss, seeing just how much bollocks people will sit through before they tear the disc out of the DVD and bin it. The main character turning into a tank was one example which springs into my mind, basically a superimposed upper torso placed on top of a greyish box with wheels running through a CGI town, which made the graphics from the emerald races in Sonic 2 look next gen!  Finally, with the main boss making a statement something along the lines of ‘I bet you’ve never seen my robo-castle’, things were looking really grim. The ‘Robo-castle’ was a ridiculous idea and the graphics did nothing to help this fact.

Overall, I find it very difficult to recommend this movie. It squanders the potential its title offers and creates an overly long movie with little in the way of entertainment value. Some people will no doubt find some charm in its power-ranger style fight scenes, but for me the shit CGI and lack of gore makes this one movie I would have been glad to have let pass me by.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *