Review: The Monster Squad


Now, judging by the internet forums and blogs I’m set to shatter some fond child hood memories with this review. I think this, like countless other films we all enjoyed and remember from our past, really benefits from fond memories rather than judged by its own merits, because in all honestly, it’s an absolute sack of shit.

Allow me to clarify; I didn’t see this film back in the 1980s and had my virgin viewing at the grand old age of 23. I was led to believe that this was one of those family horror themed comedies which all ages can enjoy, comparable perhaps to one of Mel Brooks’ movies, but, despite what you might read elsewhere, it isn’t. This is thorough bread, 100% kid’s film. It has kids in it, the jokes are similar to those kids would make and the heroes of the hour are kids. Normally just one kid actor in a horror is bad enough (how much did you want Chucky to waste little?!) so when about 80% of the cast are kids you can imagine the repercussions. SHIT MOVIE!

The movie is about the resurrection of Dracula and a group of geeky kids who form a club called the ‘Monster Club’, who, when they find out that Dracula is up and about resurrecting other classic monsters (Werewolf, a Mummy, Frankenstein’s Monster and the Creature from the Black Lagoon) must use all their knowledge of monsters, most of which they got from films, to put an end to the vampires evil scheming ways.

The film is not without its merits, the creature design suits the films pitch and the pace of the film moves along swiftly. All said, the stories pretty generic but it does the job nicely. There are some scenes involving the monsters which are pretty cool too.

The main flaw in this film is that the jokes really aren’t funny. Now I know that humour is subjective and all that, but I really can’t see who this film was really aimed at. On the one hand the creature attacks have a reasonable amount of violence and blood and on the other you’ve got really infantile jokes and stomach churning cheesy lines. Just when I thought the film couldn’t get gayer the line ‘lets listen to the kids for a change’ came out.  Well fuck that!

Overall, I can’t really see kids being amazingly charmed by the movie as they would probably be too young to really appreciate the cult status of the monster, and I know from my own viewing that I wouldn’t be recommending this to any of my mates. I think, as I said at the start of the review, if you have fond memories of this movie from times past and still love it to this day then disregard everything you’ve read, but if you are seeing it for the first time when you are old enough to figure out how to use the DVD player to play it, follow my advice, don’t watch it.

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