Review: Zombie Lake


Pretty much every source of literature (reviews etc) warned me against this film, hell pretty much everything except the back of the box stated the film was, to put it bluntly, just not worth watching. Well damn me, the lure of Nazi zombies terrorising innocent French country girls was just to strong, and like so many others before me, I succumbed and began watching the seemingly everlasting ‘Zombie Lake’.

Believe me I have watched some shit in my time, see ‘The List’ for some classic examples, however there is a special variety of films which actually piss me off just for having spent precious time watching them, time which, when the reaper comes knocking and I have flash backs of my life, I will shudder at having wasted. ‘Zombie Lake’ is such a movie.

The ‘plot’, rather unsurprisingly, revolves around a lake filled with the bodies of Nazi Soldiers. Deprived of a proper burial, the soldiers seemingly rise up to attack the village whenever a pretty girl gets her boobs out in the lake - as in scene 1. To be honest I’m only guessing this, as the film doesn’t really go into much detail about the zombies or the lake; to be honest the film doesn’t really go into much detail about anything other than that they are zombies.

There is no real plot. The zombies themselves look really really shit, simply men with green paint on. It’s embarrassing to watch as the ‘actors’ emerge from the lake with most of the green makeup washing of with each clichéd lurch. The blood and gore is not really worth mentioning as all of it is off screen with the simple ketchup spray of blood on the floor or grass to give indication of death.

To top this movie off the dialog itself is really poor, and the UK dvd disc I viewed has quite possibly the worst dubbing ever; it was quite clear that all the voices were done by a single man and woman.

The only thing (and I mean it literally) that this movie has going for it is that somehow the director managed to get a bus load of women of all ethnicity and age to whip the baps out; there’s even some vaginal shots in some scenes! However, the momentary pleasure that such scenes provide is most definitely not worth the endless mental torture which the 90 minute duration of the movie promotes.

Overall, this film has to be seen to be believed, ironically enough I strongly urge you just to take our word for it – and for the love of god don’t watch it. I honestly mean it; this film is simply not worth watching. It’s barely a movie by my definition of the word. It’s an insult to the genre.

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